Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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