oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
do nipples grow back?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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