do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
