oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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