i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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