If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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