Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My dick has a subreddit
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
