I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish you could order shots online.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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