you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
