Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
