i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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