We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
