I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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