i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
