Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
