Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
