I molested 6 butterflies tonight
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
