Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
