Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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