i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
