So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
