My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
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Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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