the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
