I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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