IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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