when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
