Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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