I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
