cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
