My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
