So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
