so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think your dad took our porno
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
