captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
