cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
