Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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