great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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