I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When did angry sex become our thing?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize