Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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