My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
