I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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