sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
