Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
