I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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