so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
