i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
