he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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