Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
