South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize