I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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