She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize