This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
