he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
