Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's never too late to be topless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
