What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize