Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
