It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
