I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
