His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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