I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
