i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
