i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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