you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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