im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
