dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
