i barfeds in our rink
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well I just put wine in my tea
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
